Fear of Speaking in Public? Here’s Why It’s Costing You More Than You Think

You know the feeling. That creeping dread, the way your stomach knots up the second you realise—you have to speak. Not just speak. Perform. Entertain. Prove something. And the worst part? It’s not even the speaking itself. It’s the waiting. The anticipation. The knowledge that, at any moment, your brain might betray you—mid-sentence, mid-thought, mid-breath. Words drying up like a puddle in August. And you’ll stand there, mouth slightly open, looking like—well, like you’ve just forgotten your own name.

It’s a fork-in-the-road moment, isn’t it? The kind that makes or breaks people. Some rise to it, gripping the mic like it’s an extension of their soul, commanding attention like a conductor before an orchestra. Others—maybe you, maybe not—take the other path. The one that leads to smallness. To hesitation. To nodding politely while someone else takes the lead, because it’s just easier that way, right?

And yet. And yet. You’ve seen what happens to the people who step up. They don’t just get through it—they thrive. They leave the stage taller than when they stepped on it. The air around them feels electric, charged, like they own something invisible and powerful. Their words echo, even after they’ve stopped speaking. You know that feeling too—watching someone else do what you should have done. Regretting it the second the moment passes, knowing deep down: that could have been me. That should have been me.

Look. I could say it’s fine. That fear is natural, that everyone struggles, that maybe next time it’ll be different. But we both know that’s nonsense. Fear doesn’t disappear on its own. It calcifies. Hardens. Becomes part of you. And every time you back away, every time you let someone else step in, you teach your brain a dangerous lesson: that you can’t. That you won’t. That you’re not enough. And that, my friend, is how you shrink—one skipped opportunity at a time.

So what now? Do you keep playing small? Keep letting others take the spotlight, while you reassure yourself with excuses—I wasn’t ready. I didn’t feel well. Next time. (Next time. What a joke. When has ‘next time’ ever just appeared, neatly gift-wrapped, waiting for you to seize it?) Or do you choose something else? Do you decide that fear is a lousy excuse, that being uncomfortable is the cost of becoming something greater? Because, and let’s be blunt, those are the only two options. One keeps you safe. The other sets you free.

It’s funny, isn’t it? The way we trick ourselves into thinking we have time. That we can keep dodging these moments indefinitely. But life isn’t that patient. Promotions go to the bold. Opportunities don’t linger. Influence is seized, not handed out like flyers on the street. You already know this—you’ve seen it happen. So what’s stopping you? What’s actually stopping you? And before you say ‘fear,’ think about it. Fear of what, exactly? Looking foolish? Making a mistake? Guess what—people forget. Faster than you think. But they remember confidence. They remember presence. They remember the ones who dare to take up space.

So, let’s stop pretending there’s a middle ground. There isn’t. There’s only before and after. Fear and freedom. Watching or leading. And right now—right now—you get to choose which side you’re on. But if you don’t choose, life will do it for you.

And it won’t pick the one you want!

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